My Fiction. My Blog. My Life:After braving the vast world of the internet with fanfictions, I've decided to expand my portfolio with short stories, blog posts, and snippets of my novel.
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Chapter 9Raven rubbed her eyes as she walked the halls. The police force was a bit overbearing sometimes. They should just thank the Titans and let them leave. So, sometimes she did take advantage of their underlying fear. She had stood up with a huff, and ‘accidently’ exploded a water cooler. And suddenly they were out of questions for her and Cy. But she was not having the worst of it. Pausing by the debriefing room, she raised her hand to touch the door. Its occupants had been at it for hours. Inside she could feel Gar’s grief momentarily lessen, and she hoped he knew she was there. He had lost a civilian. And he would be discussing it with Robin for several more hours. What had happened, what should have happened, or what went wrong on their part. She wanted to stay, even just to let him know she was there. But there was nothing she could really do to help. It was indeed several more hours before he came out. He stepped onto the rooftop finishing a burrito, drained mentally and emotionally. The air had a bit of a chill to it, but he didn’t seem to notice. Rubbing his hands on his pants, he said down on the bench beside her. Automatically slouching back and looking at the sky. They didn’t need to talk, not only could she sense exactly what he was feeling, but now he was aware of that fact. The silence was actually comfortable. She had missed him and wanted to know he was alright. And she sensed that he had felt something similar. The longer they sat together, the more comfort she could feel from him.
He sighed and rubbed his face. “Gah, this sucks.” He didn’t move to sit up, just kept looking at the sky. “I should have had it Rae. I should have. I …. I just wasn’t fast enough.” Without looking, his hand fell over hers, just as she laid it on his lap. Raven looked at it for a second, still taken back at times by his ability to sense the movement around him. “Hey, hypocrite.” She said. Perking up, he looked at her, astonished. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t hurt those people. Those demented men did.” She paused, and when he still looked confused. “Just as my father did.” He laughed and laid his head back down. “You got me.” Sighing, “I still feel guilty though.” Raven smiled, and rubbed her thumb on the top of his leg. “I know.” “I’m thinking of leaving for a few days. You know, like a break.” He blurted out. “Oh? Where to?” Her heart dropped. “Africa.” But then it stopped “Not much of a break, I know.” He continued. “But they’ve been asking me to check on my folks’ house for months, and I’ve been putting it off. I haven’t been back there since… well. Anyway, the guy I hired to keep up the place is moving and needs me to come out and check on it. Probably get someone new to watch over it.” The lump in her throat prevented her from replying. He sat up and sent her a wave of vulnerability. “Would you…would you want to go with me?” She saw the look of worry cross his face. “You would want me to?” “Heh,” he rubbed his jaw, looking out to the ocean, “to be honest, I’m not as strong as you Rae. I would love to have someone with me for this.” His eyes locked on hers. “Well, I would love to have you there. But,” his grip on her hand tightened, “I understand if you need to stay to get back to Azarath.” “No,” she replied, and watched his ears visibly droop, “no, I just went yesterday. They are doing fairly well without me. It’s actually kind of bittersweet how well they’re doing without me. I don’t need to go back for a while.” She laid her other hand on top of his. “Of course I’ll go with you. As long as you’re sure.” Nodding, he smiled. “Thank you, Raven.” The mood during the whole ride to Africa was seeped in melancholy. As they got closer, he became more anxious and often stood up to pace around the ship. Sometimes Raven would catch a strand or two come out as he repeatedly ran his hands through his hair. But she stayed quiet the whole time, absorbing all his emotions and preparing herself for the pain they would be dealing with upon arrival. They landed in a field, and the plane grew tense and quiet. Gar rubbed his face and took a deep breath in. Yet they still didn’t speak, nothing had to be said. He was trying his best to deal with just opening the door. It took several minutes before he hit the button, as if the ship was still part of the tower and he was safe inside. The door opened and she could almost feel the pit of his stomach drop. As they stepped onto the field, the sound of a waterfall made her own stomach drop. She thought there was no way he would land them here. But he had. The look on his face told her everything as he scanned the nearby river. Gar glanced back at her, then started his walk over. He was feeling determined to overcome his freight and deep seated guilt over the death of his parents. But as they walked closer, his depression and apprehension deepened. She had never known him to feel like this, and it broke her heart. Rubbing his hands on his pants, he started his decent on the rocks towards the water, and she knew he was close to tears. The rocks were unsteady and he had to quickly catch himself from falling as he descended. With the burn of tears flaring in her own throat, she stopped above the rocks. After a few more steps, he was on the brink of cracking when he looked up to her. Beyond the sorrow and grief, the familiar mix of emotions she knew him by, could be felt. And it grew the longer he looked at her. It was the same mixture she had felt after their birthday walk, on the tower roof, in her room after his first mediation, watching the turtles, and when she came to his bed. But almost with a sense of clarity one broke free and flared up. It was as if the owner had just realized how strong it had been himself. A small smile broke his solemn features as he must have realized his emotions had hit her. Then a tiny flare of curiosity and need poked through. Raven’s face broke into a wide grin and she nodded her head. Sort of in disbelief herself. His own small smile grew and he nodded thoughtfully. Then turned and continued walking down the river, but with far less grief than he had felt before. Raven stayed where she was, watching him from the top of hill as he looked over the waterfall. Even with her distance, she could visibly see him take in a deep breath. He was releasing his guilt bit by bit. He had done what his parents had told him, he couldn’t have saved them. But he was able to save himself from the drop off the waterfalls’ edge. Raven bit her lip as she recalled what had just happened. Without talking, Gar had proclaimed his love for her, and Raven to him. His interest peaked and he started to grow very excited as he turned to start running back. Across the plain they landed on, Raven looked to see the tiny dot of a car coming their way. She furrowed her brow, because she could tell Gar knew the stranger approaching. She knew she was empathetic, but reading minds like this was strange. Knowing that he recognized the man coming wasn’t a precise feeling she normally felt. This was a whole new level. She looked at Gar confused as he ran up to her, but he misread it. “It’s Tim. He’s the one watching my parent’s house. Well actually, he lives there. But he’s staying somewhere else while we’re here. Giving me you know…my space. Well, our space.” He shrugged and winked at her. With a bit of a hop, he waved at the man. Gar took another deep breath, exhaling a tad more grief. Reaching his right arm over, he grabbed Raven and pulled her close in a half hug. Quickly cherishing their last few seconds alone. With a quick peck on the top of her head he released her and started walking to the slowing car. “Garfield! Oh my, look at you my lad!” Tim jumped out of the car, running over to Gar. They embraced in a deep hug. “How are you doing Tim?” They held each other by the shoulders, too enveloped in their happiness and awestruck in being reunited. “Great, great! Ready to retired!” He hooted and looked towards Raven. “Tim, this is Raven.” The man immediately grabbed Raven’s shoulders and brought her in to kiss each of her cheeks. She froze at the abrupt movement, unsure of what to do. “Raven,” he leaned back, still holding her, “so glad you could make it! You’ll love it here.” “Thank you,” she quietly replied. He quickly turned to hop back in the jeep. Gar followed, but not after winking at her and laughing at her shock. “So you’re finally retiring, what do you plan to do now?” Gar asked as he opened the door and helped Raven into the back seat. It was a bit of a stretch, and despite herself, she had to float a little to easily get in. They were both dressed in civilian clothes, and were both refraining from using powers. Out here, they weren’t hero’s, he was a son coming home. The two men easily got into discussing Tim’s research and the various people that were picking up new projects. This was a new side she hadn’t seen much of before. Gar loved learning about animals, though she was surprised there was anything he didn’t know. He excitedly asked question after question. Then Tim casually threw out how Gar could personally help with research, taking the form of various animals, and literally getting into the mix of it. Gar felt a great sense of dismay and Raven got the strange feeling he might not want to leave after all. He actually would be the perfect person to aid in zoological research. Tim started to talk about the man who would be taking over the care of the house, if Gar approved. He was a newer doctor that had been working on the project for about a year. Trustworthy, Tim had said. But it was not out of the picture that Gar could just take the house back and move home. Another wave of longing passed through him. The longer the ride lasted, as they twisted and turned into the jungle, the more dismal Raven felt. Gar was feeling more and more reminiscent as they went. This was his home, and he had finally returned. And every time Tim mentioned staying, or his parent’s house, Raven could feel his emotions so hard it felt like her own heart had been ripped out. He hadn’t planned on staying, but the thought of leaving, now that he was here, must have been killing him. They arrived at the house, and Gar took special care in helping her out. And taking the opportunity to whisper into her ear. “Are you alright?” “Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” She tried to put on a happy face, but knew he saw through it. Leading her inside, he gently rubbed her lower back, as if she was the one in turmoil. Inside, she could his mind was beginning to work on an internal problem he must have been having with himself for some time. The house was filled with a mixture of personal mementos and science gear. A few artifacts, and retired equipment lay behind glass cases built on wooden stands. It gave the building a calming mixture between cozy home and classy museum. Some pieces seemed to still be in use, such as the sturdy tried and true, microscope. Though most of the work was done in the lab several yards away, the messy study told a story of many late night projects brought home. Raven kept quiet for most of Tim’s stay. He took Gar around the house, showing him new things, or reminiscing on old. Gar’s onslaught of emotions was more than enough for her to think about. He wanted to stay and she wasn’t sure if it was better they knew how they felt, or worse. Passing by several framed photos Raven thought of the young blonde boy in the photo. Would it have been better if he left before she had loved him, before she knew how he felt, and they just moved on blissfully unaware? She picked up the picture. The smiling women in the background was beautiful. She smiled at the thought of what a happy family could be like. In the background she could hear Gar saying good bye to Tim. No, it was better this way. They would have missed out on something special, and they could make it work. Gar’s hand slowly pressed into her back as he looked down over her shoulder. “My mom,” he said in a hushed voice. Reaching out, he ran his thumb over the woman’s face. “Do you miss your mom?” She shook her head, that wasn’t a fair question. “We had such a different relationship than a normal mother and daughter. I was just being taught how not to destroy the world.” She whispered. “But,” she paused. “I suppose I do.” Taking great care, Raven put the photo back on the table and turned to face him. He looked tired yes, but right now he looked older. Like he should be the owner of a house and in charge of this land. Life had aged him. Partly because he had kept most of it bottled up and hidden away for years. Failing to talk about anything bad in his life, and resorting to humor and silly jokes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, running his hand over her cheek, “this must be so hard on you to have to stand here while I throw every emotion possible at you.” It was true, but even right now, the amount of care he had in his voice, and the concern he felt for her made it worth it. “I’m always here for you, Gar. You know that.” He gave her a calm smile and nodded. “Why don’t we call it a night? I’m exhausted in every way possible.” They had momentarily talked about sleeping arrangements on the way down. He had given her his old room, while he took his parents. Before they had discovered their feelings, of course. But when it came to it, Gar couldn’t face his parents room. He had tried valiantly. But after several minutes of self-abuse, Raven had pulled him away, giving him an out. He mumbled that it shouldn’t be that hard and followed her down the hall. Raven shifted her arm under her head more and wondered if Gar could feel her watching him. She took a deep breath and told herself not to cry. This was about him, not her. But she hadn’t felt this horrible in quiet some time. Admittedly, part of it was what had come off the changeling, but her own had built on top of it. Biting her lip, she tried to rehearse her small speech. She would love him no matter what he chose, and she wouldn’t be mad if he wanted to stay. Maybe he would even invite her to stay. “Hey, Raven?” He asked. She didn’t respond, but he knew she was awake. He sighed with a sense of resolution, rolling to look at the ceiling. Perhaps she wouldn’t need the speech. “Can you remind me tomorrow to grab my dad’s journals? I think they’re in the study, but I didn’t have time to look through it today. I want to bring them home. And I think a few of the old science pieces. But I think I do want to leave a lot of it here.” Her breath caught in her throat for several long seconds before she finally managed a “What?” Rolling over to face her, he sighed again. “I had thought them as my parents’ stuff, and that I should be able to take a lot of it. But listening to Tim speak with such fascination over each thing, and about all the new students coming out here. I mean it’s exciting to them too…” he began again. “No,” she could feel the burn in her throat and still slightly wished she was still that emotionless demon. “You’re coming home with me?” His face became confused. “Well, yeah? Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” Raven took in a deep breath, telling herself it would be fine, he should know he could stay.
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AuthorI am split between a world of fantasies and science. {Blog}
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